Liverpool Echo: Ablett's wife on Gary's legacy

This story has been reproduced from today's media. It does not necessarily represent the position of Liverpool Football Club.

The widow of footballing legend Gary Ablett tells Susan Lee how she wants her husband to be remembered.

Sitting in the Anglican Cathedral at her husband's funeral Jacqueline Ablett barely registered her surroundings.

Although joined by hundreds of mourners on that cold, miserable day last January, the mum of three couldn't look up, knowing the sight of so many people united in their love for Gary would simply make her more upset.

"But then, from nowhere, the sun started shining though the huge stained glass window," she remembers.

"It got brighter and brighter, lighting up the window and illuminating the service and then it faded. It was amazing.

"I know that ray of sunshine was Gary because he always brightened people's lives.

"He was saying: 'I'm here. Love you, love the kids'. That moment will stay with me forever."

More than three months on from that bleak day Jacqueline, 39, is coming to terms with living in a new reality - a reality that doesn't include her adored husband who lost his battle against non-Hodgkin's lymphoma late last year at the age of 46.

And as hard as that is - the couple had been together almost two decades - Jacqueline is determined to harness the outpouring of affection and respect that came in the wake of his illness to do some good.

"We are so proud of what Gary achieved as a footballer, who he was as a person and for all the support we've received during his illness and afterwards," says Jacqueline who is originally from Anfield but who now lives in Tarleton.

"As a family we want to give something back and leave a lasting legacy in his name, in terms of a charity or a foundation."

The idea, she says, initially came from Gary.

"He planted the seed. It came out of the blue and he mentioned it only a few weeks before he fell ill so we didn't take it any further. Now, though, the time is right.

"And it's so important that something positive comes from all this."

Jacqueline met Gary in 1993 when they were both out and about in Liverpool city centre.

He was a huge name in football in the city, having won the FA Cup with Liverpool in 1989 before transferring across the park to Everton.

Two years later he won the FA Cup with the Blues, making him the only player to lift the FA Cup with both Merseyside teams.

But to Jacqueline he was simply a nice guy who had slipped her his telephone number on a night out.

"I wasn't into football at all. It was only when I later saw a photo of him in the paper I realised who he was. Our first date was at the Jolly Miller pub in West Derby."

But each knew quickly that they had found 'the one'.

"He was my soulmate," she says simply.

They were engaged within a year and married in 1998. Their happiness was sealed with the arrival of three children Scarlett, now 16, Reece, 15, and Riley, 11.

And while Gary forged ahead with his career - he coached at both Liverpool and Everton, managed Stockport County and then became a coach in Ipswich - Jacqueline ensured a steady home life.

"Gary and I never really did the footballing celebrity thing. We were just an ordinary family. Gary went to work, he came home, we did family stuff.

"Yes, I was a footballer's wife but we never courted publicity. Things have changed over the years, though. To be honest, the way it is now would get on my nerves. I'd hate to be followed by photographers all the time, making sure I was camera ready at all hours of the day!"

But their happy home life was shattered in July 2010 when Gary was diagnosed with cancer.

"It came completely in off the left-field but he was always very positive about it. He was determined to fight it and sometimes he'd drive me insane because he would push himself so hard even though he was so ill.

"And yes, when he was diagnosed we grieved for the life we had together, the life we had before and which had lost but we simply got used to living a different life."

Gary endured months of arduous treatment including chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. He developed diabetes and the steroid treatment also made it difficult for him to walk but, says Jacqueline, he was loathe to complain.

"He'd only ever say, 'I can't get comfortable'. That was it until one day a nurse said, 'on a scale of one to ten how bad is the pain?' and he said 'nine'.

"But that was Gary, always trying to protect others from worrying."

She admits there were times when he was frightened - they both were - and losing his hair upset him.

"But as long as we had each other we got through," she says.

It was while he was ill that he decided to write his autobiography, The Game of My Life, finishing it only weeks before he died. Jacqueline has subsequently written its epilogue.

Was it hard to read the book?

"Yes and no. I had been through it all with him but of course he was writing from his perspective and he so wanted to tell people his story.

"Gary's thing was all about how we make choices in life and what those choices lead to. He had no choice in getting cancer, it just happened, but I did have a choice and I knew I had to add a final chapter to the book."

Jacqueline admits she is still in the midst of a rollercoaster of grief.

"I have good and bad days, of course, and sometimes I even feel relief that he isn't suffering anymore but you can't sit and wallow."

She has found enormous strength in her children.

"They have had to grow up fast but I am so proud of the way they have handled it all.

"This last year and a half have made us realise you have to do things, grab opportunities. That's what Gary did and he achieved so much though hard work. That's the example he set and we're following."

That drive has resulted in SO Ablett, an on-line dress agency started by Scarlett.

"She has always loved fashion and was really inspired by wanting to do something in memory of her dad," says Jacqueline.

"The idea is that we'll approach the wives and girlfriends of footballers and ask them to donate their clothes with a proportion of the sale going to charity.

"Scarlett has been fantastic, very focussed on making it happen. We hope in time to open a shop and the logo is a purple heart - a mix of the Everton and Liverpool colours."

There is also talk of setting up a foundation in Gary's name.

"It's at an early stage but it will definitely have something to do with sport, probably at grass roots level."

She pauses.

"You know, I've never been one to put myself forward. Gary always took the lead. When he was ill I didn't want to talk about it to anyone either.

"But now I feel so strongly that we have to capitalise on all the support and love that we've had and use it for good."

What does she think Gary would make of her determination to ensure a lasting legacy for him?

"I hope he'd be very proud - just like we were of him."

Source: Liverpool Echo

This story has been reproduced from today's media. It does not necessarily represent the position of Liverpool Football Club.